An interesting argument (which I mostly agree with) in Slate magazine here:
But there’s a powerful case to be made that in an age of equitable marriage the engagement ring is an outmoded commodity—starting with the obvious fact that only the woman gets one. The diamond ring is the site of retrograde fantasies about gender roles. What makes it pernicious—as opposed to tackily fun—is its cost (these days you don’t need just a diamond; you need a good diamond), its dubious origins, and the cynical blandishments of TV and print ads designed to suggest a ring’s allure through the crassest of stereotypes.
All of this written, naturally, by a female columnist. Thoughts?
I am particularly troubled by the corollary between the drop of the commit & abandon action and the rise in engagement ring sales.
There is nothing wrong with loving things of beauty. I am a huge fan of Cartier as art. I think giving someone a symbol of the beauty manifest through your love is a good and admirable gesture. I know many couples, one of your authors included, who purchased a diamond engagement ring out of sincere affection and generosity.
Still, there are so many great reasons to find a new symbol. History tells us the story of many symbols abandoned when the thing and the signifier got too confused or corrupted. Most notably, the image we now call the swastika. While the diamond engagment ring is arguably nowhere near that controversial, my guess is that many of those jewels we know are “blood diamonds” are that tainted. Add to that the implied contract and you’ve got some issues.
Then again, I am the product of a marriage where no engagement ring was exchanged and I think that is totally normal and acceptable – so maybe I’m biased. I do think that the DeBeers people should be lined up and stoned with diamonds though, for creating and expectation and a market where it shouldn’t exist.
The diamond should cost less than the honeymoon
Very interesting thoughts from both all 3 of you (John, Jon and Jess)
Thank you for stimulating my mind, I don’t get that very much these days, at least in a positive way.