There’s been an interesting response to the happiness article I posted earlier, so I thought I’d jump back into the discussion by adding to some of the points mentioned by others. In the comments thread, Dave writes:

“too much we read about activities, foods, or experiences that are empirically linked to a percent increase in endorphins, seratonin, dopamine, etcetera. most previous science on happiness suggests that all we gotta do is build a button on someone’s skull that will, when pressed, release said chemicals to provide a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and orgasm all at the same time. Isn’t that what makes us happy? chemicals?”

I agree here with Dave completely and I think he brings up an important point – much of human behavior cannot be accurately understood through empirical testing alone. As a graduating anthropology student, this is an issue near and dear to my own heart. How does one go about attempting to understand what makes another person happy? Well, one way is to use the scientific method, form a hypothesis, test it, and then attempt to analyze the results as objectively as possible. The trouble with this approach is that you get a conclusion that is framed (or some would say, limited) by the hypothesis being tested. As Dave correctly notes, if one looks for links between chemistry and happiness, one’s results will inevitably express a relationship (or lack thereof) between, well, chemistry and happiness. This begs the question, “Are chemicals what makes us happy?”.

I would answer, “Yes and No.” I feel fairly convinced by the studies I’ve read that my own personal biochemistry has a significant impact on the way I feel. However, I wouldn’t quite contend that my chemistry is my feelings, no exceptions permitted. There’s a whole universe (literally) of variables that effect my affect – my personal chemistry being just one part (or more accurately, one mechanism) of the creation of my emotional state of being. Like Dave, I’m glad to see studies that are attempting to address the variables both inside and outside of my physical body.

My sister also had an interesting response about happiness and it’s relationship to worrying:

“I have concerns about the quirky and specific (is this project complete? Should I scrub the kitchen floor a second time? Is my pet mouse fulfilled?) to the very universal ( is the planet going to last? How can I find a job that makes me happy? How do I show equal parts gratitude and independence when it comes to family?) If one worry fades, another replaces it. [...] I see it [worrying] more as really digging in deep. [...] for me, for my own happiness, I feel in touch, connected, when I consider it all. I feel like I am doing my part to avoid ostrich-dom. For some people, that just goes hand in hand with worrying. Because the world is such a beautiful place. Because there are so many, many worthwhile ways to live. Because people and ideas are worth caring about. Is it a failure to “let go”? Sure. I cling like a madman to each day – it’s smells, events, issues. And then I wake up and do it all over again. Don’t we all?”

I find this to be a beautiful articulation of how happiness can be tied into all kinds of different aspects of one’s personality – even aspects that others might find somewhat negative. Again, as I stated in my last post, happiness seems to be a kind of summation of things or feelings, rather than a stand-alone emotion, or isolated goal (that is infrequently achieved).

Jessie’s example here is excellent – worrying keeps her in touch with day to day living, indeed, it is a somewhat paradoxical ‘path to happiness’ because it helps her to sort out what matters from what doesn’t and to pursue those people, ideas, or events that matter. I can relate to this (no pun intended) because I’m something of a worrier myself.

I think this is an oft-overlooked aspect of personal happiness – one has to have a means of discernment, a way of “staying in touch”, in order to be happy. It’s tempting to believe that what makes others happy will make us reasonably so as well, however, one of the great joys of living is finding out what gets you going, what keeps you “in touch” with the world around you and inside you. It may be something as casually mundane as worrying or as complex as calculus, but you can be sure that it won’t match the cookie-cutter situations we see in adverts on television. Real happiness, like real life, consists of relationships between people, things, places, events. And relationships are by definition specific, idiosyncratic. Will more brain chemicals make me happy? Perhaps, but I wonder if it wouldn’t be only generally so, a kind of diffused happiness, a relationship with no object – just a content subject?

Just finished reading a report on happiness, or more specifically, how to be more happy more often and for longer. I thought it was interesting that the researchers are currently theorizing that happiness can be boosted and maintained in much the same way that a person’s fitness can be augmented by exercise.

I find that these tentative conclusions match well with my own understanding of happiness. To me, currently, happiness in more like an attitude, an approach to life, rather than a state of being. Happiness is not something you have or lack, it’s something slightly more concrete – it’s something you are.

I consider my level of personal happiness to be high, relatively speaking. I find a great deal of satisfaction in my daily life, in my family, friends, work, school, etc. But oddly enough, I think I would be happy even if my current life situation was completely different. What matters is not the specific circumstances of my life, but my approach to those circumstances.

I haven’t always felt this way about happiness. It’s probably only within the last year that I’ve had some really important life experiences that changed the way I thought about being happy. Through people I’ve spent time with, ideas I’ve been exposed to, places I’ve traveled – I’ve really come a long way in terms of my own understanding of what it means to lead a satisfying life. Happiness for me has been a change in perspective, a different way of thinking about myself and the world around me.

That’s not to say that I’m never unhappy – of course I feel that way sometimes. But I tend now to try and see both happiness and sadness as two sides of the same coin – part of life in all its great chaos and complexity, part of myself – a person who can embody both good and bad, who is large enough to contain contradiction, paradox.

Writing about happiness reminds me of one of my favorite Buddhist proverbs, “Nichi nichi kore kōnichi (日々是好日)” or “Everyday is a good day.”

This is a hard saying for some, however, it expresses an attitude, an unadulterated love of living, that I find to be very positive, indeed, inspiring.

Wherever I find myself, I know that I am assuredly alive with the whole great possibility of living before me. This, to me, is happiness.

Last night, Desiree and I came back to Baton Rouge and we decided to cook dinner with our new pots. On Sunday night, it’s usually better to go for something easy like hamburger helper or frozen pizza. But somehow, we came up with a menu of salmon and green beans with a risotto pasta side dish. Whoopsie.

I’ll spare the details, but i will remark that it took 3 trips to Albertson’s before the night was over.

On one of these trips, as i stepped out to the car, i looked up in the night sky and saw a plane. I imagined that it was going to Chicago or L.A. or Houston, and the people on the flight going on their business trips and vacations were looking outside at all the people down in Baton Rouge, trying to cook dinner and lead their lives of quiet desperation (apologies to mr. thoreau).

then i imagined myself on that plane, taking a voyage to a place that i have never been before, with the plans all made and the trip scheduled out. cruising at 30000 feet, glancing down at the tiny twinkling towns, crossing the countryside on a jet heading deep into the sky stretching over the ocean. patiently awaiting the morning’s pink sunrise.

I have made my plans and scheduled my trip… a Jamaican honeymoon. I wouldn’t mind if we were leaving tonight.

put down a deposit on an apartment today. By the time i move in, it will be the first domicile of my married life. I’ll be moving desiree in (with help from a couple of my male friends) on or around May 18.

Every day i confront another decision i have to make about my future. Buying appliances such as washing machines and dryers. Procuring jobs for when i’m not in school. Setting up a budget that takes into account the expenses and income of 2 people. Am i just living now so that i can continue to plan my plans for the rest of my planned life? Or am i planning now so that i can live it all out later?

I hope the latter, but i fear it’s really the former.

i don’t want to go back to school, i want to graduate. tomorrow. I hope the biggest thing i get out of this co-op job, besides the golden resumé seal of approval, is the drive to get work done earlier.

the only thing i miss about school is that there is always an answer.

“The day before yesterday in the middle of the
afternoon I noticed I was running out of matches.
I went through pockets, under papers on tables and
finally found a single match. Having lit a
cigarette, I decided to keep one lit constantly
whether I was smoking or not. Oppressed by this
obligation, I went downstairs to the kitchen, found
nothing, but picked up an article by the man at the
other end of the hall that happened to catch my eye.
I read it, cooked dinner, went on working, and
managed through all of this to light another
cigarette before the burning one burned out. I
determined to go to the movies in order to get some
matches. However, in the car, I found some partly
used folders of them and just went to the movies
uselessly. The next afternoon, the secretary came
in and asked for a match. I still had a few left from
those I’d found in the car. I realized the situation
was growing ticklish. I left and with the single
purpose of getting matches. I came back with an
artichoke, a sweet potato, an onion I didn’t need
(for I already had one), three limes, two
persimmons, six cans of ale, a box of cranberries
and an orange, eggs, milk, and cream, and
fortunately I remembered the matches. That evening
the possibility of lighting a cigarette on an
electric stove was mentioned, an action with which
I am fully familiar.”

John Cage

Sometimes when life gets tough, I go for a bike ride and it makes everything better. Today was one of those days.

i’m filing today in the Davidian history books in part IV, “Weird Days,” under the section marked “Inexplicable Changes of Mood.” Most of the entries in this section have taken place in my early teens, so it may be interesting to take note of this for future reference.

The latter half of this week would be considered a part of the “Poor Communication” series. Entries in this series can be found in Part I, “Good Days,” when things turn out funny, or in Part II, “Bad Days,” when life takes that kind of turn. But the curious moments are those that manifest in out-of-character mental breakdowns, during which everyone around you is completely puzzled and uncomfortable, because of something you said or did. Luckily, the only person to witness this today was Des.

Index tags: inconsistent diet, laziness, blender for a brain, financial concern (see also in the FAQ: “Can I take a Monetary Mulligan?”)

If you didn’t quite understand this entry, congratulations. Me neither.

anybody else feel like this spring is moving just a bit quicker than usual? like somebody set the cruise control on 80 mph, and when you get to the next stop, it’s definitely sooner than you thought?