i don’t usually eat candy. it’s not something anyone would notice unless they pay attention.

so when i went to Travis’s for Easter, unexpectedly, i got a baseball-cap full of chocolate, jelly beans, laffy taffy, reese’s, etcetera items made entirely of sugar. I expressed my appreciation for the kindness of the family from which i recieved it, and brought it all back, untouched, in a walmart bag.

Certain peers of mine have accumulated a collection of candy from Easter as well, and often gobble down the sweets at an alarming rate. I thought to myself, surely these young men and women are desperate for nutrition, and these tasty treats are the only resource immediately at hand. Therefore they fall into a sort of “candy trap” which may then instigate the “candy-weight-gain” and then later the “candy-self-loathing”.

On such occasions, i consider myself lucky that i am otherwise surrounded by nonfat yogurt, whole grain cereal, granola bars, oatmeal, and jello, and have a lightning-quick metabolism.

This very inconspicuous walmart bag was sitting nonchalantly in my food stash near my desk chair this evening, as it has been for about a week. Suddenly, while i sat down in said chair, a bright pink thing fell out of said walmart bag. Twas nothing but a shiny wrapped disk of chocolate. I was about to put it back, when i thought of the innocent tasty chocolate on the inside (in my younger years i was a chronic chocoholic). So i ate it.

Something inside me awoke. You might think, of course, it was just your belly that awoke. But i now think it was something deeper. I wondered what other undiscovered and tasty num-nums lie within the unopened bag.

Chocolate eggs, Chocolate bars, Caramel chocolate, Chocolate cookies, Crispy-rice chocolate, Peanut-Butter filled chocolate, Cherry-filled Chocolate, Chocolate-filled chocolate, chocolate malt balls, and creamy chocolate covered sugar wafers filled with peanut butter and chocolate, and then there’s the Laffy Taffy, the jelly beans, the bottle caps, the lollipops, the life savers, the fruit-flavored candies, the gummi-bears (Oh the gummi bears)…

Ughhhhh…

20 minutes later, when my mouth is covered in sugary syrup, there are green-haired, orange-skinned oompa-loompas dancing and singing a 3 part harmony in my head:

“What do you get
When you guzzle down sweets,
Eating as much
As an elephant eats?
Why are you getting
Terribly fat?
What do you think
will become of that?
I don’t like the look of it…”

alternate title:
Attack of the Choco-Layting, Sugar-Craving Belly Fiends!

This entry was posted by dave on Wednesday, April 21st, 2004 at 9:52 pm and is filed under journal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.